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2/1/01-2/28/01

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Tuesday, February 27, 2001
I don't know why I came to think about this one, but when I was a lot younger than I am now my mom used to go to meetings at something called Womens Aglow (I think it's the female version of Promise keepers). Ususally these meetings were breakfast meetings, where people got a couple of rolls and tea and coffee before the first speeker. There we always a little note under each plate (I feel a little for those who were doing them cos, there were usually between 200 or 300 women) with a passage from the scripture. Almost like a christian version of the fortunecookie :), but it was still kinda interesting too which scripture you got. I don't remember any of those I got though.
Toneless Cereal blurted @ 2:00 AM - Link

Friday, February 23, 2001

A song which has a lot of meaning to me for various reasons.

SAILING
(Gavin Sutherland, 1972)

I am sailing, I am sailing,
home again 'cross the sea.
I am sailing, stormy waters,
to be near you, to be free.

I am flying, I am flying,
like a bird 'cross the sky.
I am flying, passing high clouds,
to be with you, to be free.

Can you hear me, can you hear me
thro' the dark night, far away,
I am dying, forever trying,
to be with you, who can say.

Can you hear me, can you hear me,
thro' the dark night far away.
I am dying, forever trying,
to be with you, who can say.

We are sailing, we are sailing,
home again 'cross the sea.
We are sailing stormy waters,
to be near you, to be free.

Oh Lord, to be near you, to be free.
Oh Lord, to be near you, to be free,
Oh Lord.
Toneless Cereal blurted @ 9:57 PM - Link

I used to almost live and die for silence and darkness. You know the kind of silence which almost hurts as it surrounds you and takes over all the small nooks and crannies until only your breathing is the only sound left. Things have changed a lot in the last couple of years though. Where silence and darkness used to be comforting, it's now a source of unrest and not at all comforting like it used to be. To some point it freaks me out, like a young child afraid of the darkness. I'm not afraid of the darkness, but the overwhelming and almost deafning silence tends to pacify me more than I like.

Now I live for lightness and social contact, but only to a certain degree since they also can have the same effect as silence and darkness.
Toneless Cereal blurted @ 2:29 PM - Link

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

I am a Spiritual Straddler. It didn't always use to be that way, but after having been through different flavors of pentacostal, lutheran and catholic groups and/or churches I'm not totally sure where my space is. Granted it wasn't by my own choice that I've made experiences with before mentioned groups, but it has kinda left me in a vacuum as to where or what my own spirituality/faith is.

I have had good experiences and bad experiences in each place and for some reason those seem to linger a lot longer and doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable in a faithbased/spiritual setting. I probably should not judge either faith on how some people have been expressing themselves in the fellowship at large, but instead focused on the message dilevered. Unfortunately it was not that easy for me, because I went through a lot of life changes at the same time shopping around, but those people were socalled elders and were supposed to be looked up to.

Sometimes I do feel like there is a urge calling me to something more, but at the same time I'm being strongly reminded about those memories and bad experiences.

I don't know.... Maybe some day I'll be able to focus on the positive instead.
Toneless Cereal blurted @ 8:11 PM - Link

Mousie posted this link in BadBlog which got me to post this:

I think I was about 12 or 13 years old at the time. I had finally talked my mom into allowing me to get some blonde highlights in my hair (I'm a very dark brown) and getting a poodle like perm at the same time. First I got the hightlights and then the perm. It would probably have looked great if it wasn't for the fact that all the blonde highlights got to sit on top of my head like a helmet. It looked horrible. Poodle perm and blonde highlights at them same time *g* Also my hair was fairly long at the time so it was almost like the big afro style of the 60s and 70s. :) Unfortunately or fortunately I don't have a picture of how it looked ;P

I have since calmed down quite a lot in regards to experimenting with different hairstyles, but the only thing I haven't tried (and probably wont) is to try the bald look. Somehow it doesn't just appeal to me and I can imagine it must itch quite a lot until grown out again (at least if I'm to believe prior shaving experiences).
Toneless Cereal blurted @ 3:03 PM - Link