NOTE: Some of the postings in here can not be attributed to the original authors. If you recognise a section, please contact me so that the proper attributions can be made.
Why is it that we can package up GIF files, executables, WAV files, and others, and send them over the Internet, yet no one has come up with something which lets you send some hugs via email?
uuhug(C) 19 June 1994 uuhug(C) Name uuhug, uudehug - encode/decode a hug for transmission via mail Syntax uuhug [ source ] remotedest | mail sys1!sys2!..!uuhug uudehug [ file ] Description The uuhug and uudehug commands are used to send a hug via uucp(C) (or other) mail. This combination can be used over indirect mail links. uuhug takes the a multimedia hug, which consists of pressure sequences and x/y/z coordinates, sounds, and visual clues, as listed in the named source file (default standard input) and produces a uuhuggedd version on the standard output. The encoding uses only printing ASCII characters, and includes the mode of the file and the remotedest for recreation on the remote system. uuhug reads a hugd file, strips off any leading and trailing lines added by mailers, and recreates the original file with the specified mode and name. The resultant file is fed to the hug hardware. The hug file has an ordinary text form and can be edited by any text editor to change the mode or remotedest hugged name. See also mmhug(C), mail(C), uucp(C) and uux(C) Restrictions The file is expanded by 35% (3 bytes become 4 plus control information) causing it to take longer to transmit. The user on the remote system who is invoking uudehug (often uucp) must have write permission on the specified file.
And if he does, so what? If you get jumped on by a hundred people, beaten half to death, and dragged up in front of court, you can say exactly the truth: the kid was standing there crying, you couldn't see anyone looking after him, so you went over to see what was the matter and maybe find the mum. And then point at the people who jumped you and say "You didn't stop to help him when he was crying, but at least you stopped when he was screaming. Well done."
Compromises? Deriving from physical inequality? Interesting. Most US-born women argue from exactly the opposite set of ideas. US women begin with the (false) premise that girls mature faster than boys; then state that to feel comfortable with a given male, that male must be older than they are to be at the same maturity level; then cheerfully conclude that they should date older men. They would see dating someone their age or younger as an unforgivable compromise, because it would imply that THEY, the WOMEN, were not as mature as they should be.
One thought I told a friend recently (female) was that it would be interesting if we were both a pair of incredibly intelligent genetic scientists with unlimited resources and delivery systems, and either:
a) Alter women genetically to have the average male's level of testosterone, and watch the "pursuit" market activity increase 4-5 fold.
b) Alter men genetically and drop their level of testosterone to the average female level and watch the bar/dance/college party and in general "pursuit mode" drop off 4-5 fold. [disclaimer: I did say average, and men do have more on the *average* than women...which is neither good nor bad. It just makes people more sex crazed...]
We finally ended up choosing choice b), because the world's overgluttedly populated as it is right now anyways. We did wonder whether or not the desire for "snuggle/cuddle" type behavior would drop off to that extent though. I doubt it to that extent, but it would rise or drop somewhat according to which option was picked.
We also concluded we were glad we weren't deities. It'd be too tempting. ; )
I'm amazed at the fact that I fall in love with friends. Certainly nothing has changed with regard to appearance. I've just seen new sides to their personalities. I realize how wonderful they are, feel a want to be closer, then feel a want to be physically closer. More time, more attraction, more passion. I have some friends I keep meaning to ask to cuddle with me...but I'm a busy boy.
When my first boyfriend broke up with me I was a mess. I sought him out and found that he was ever more torn than I could have been. I ended up holding him until he fell asleep and sleeping on his floor and calling his best friend when he mentioned not existing anymore. He thought he had really fucked up my life and my emotions, and he had, and I am ever thankful. I don't think I ever loved him more than during those moments when I knew that he cared about my well-being more than anything else in the world. I would have held him there until they carried us out. Now I'm getting misty.
Hugs to heartbreakers. You're wonderful whether they realize it or not.
Here's a nice safe way to test the situation and the other party's opinion
(warning: it doesn't work in all types of situations):
Watch the local news until you come across an account of a sexual harassment charge or complaint. Bring it up in casual conversation just like you would any other news topic (fire, flood, earthquake, Rose Bowl). Ask the target party what their opinion is. See if you can steer the conversation towards their opinion of sexual harassment in general. (IF the party becomes very nervous and changes the topic, excuses themself, etc, don't bring it up again, you've probably stirred some unpleasant memories the person doesn't want to discuss).
This method can be a little tricky for people who aren't used to manipulating conversations; they might want to practice with more harmless subjects first (lots of good practice material can be found in the daily news, paper or TV). The best setting is public, like an office breakroom or a casual party.
You do run the risk of a three-hour lecture on how males have dominated the scene for thousands of years etc (boring). But you can easily arrange a time when there'll be at least one witness. And the women (and men) most likely to sue someone for sexual harassment are the ones most likely to jump on this "wonderful" opportunity to preach their views to a "captive" audience (you did ask...).
I generally use this trick to find out how a potential date feels about open communication between people who are dating, and it's _very_ effective. When you start by talking about something impersonal like a news article (or a magazine quiz, my personal favorite) it's very impersonal; as opposed to asking someone out, which is personal. And much better than being afraid all the time.
The discussion here came down to the more options are left open in a relationship, the more trust is required, and most people are too insecure for that kind of trust...a pity, really...it's a beautiful Spring day here and the mood I'm in I really want to see the whole world happy, at peace, and everyone in love with everyone else!
You don't have to "be beautiful" to be beautiful!
A lusty playful relationship, between equals of consciousness creates a synergism and bonding of health unlike the hate between those inside a rigid relationship of what so many imply to be of 'purpose' where equality lacks.
However, never give up hope because there is someone out there who can give you exactly what you need. And it's only a matter of time before you meet her [or him].
I could go on...but, I think it's important to know what's going on inside your mind, 'cause if you don't, then you're going to have a really hard time figuring out what's going on inside hers [or his].
And believe it or not, you will eventually heal. It may take a long time, and the initial break up is harder when you haven't dated in a while, but you do get over it.
Like I keep saying (over and over...sorry for the repetitions, but it's a VERY IMPORTANT CONCEPT, IMHO), people NEED to touch and be touched. It's how we express feelings for each other at a young age. As we "mature" society throws in the individualism to SUCH a high degree that many people won't hug or cuddle with most people, just because that does express a very strong, sincere level of affection.
(affection=genuine caring, NOT necessarily romantic or sexual)
Emotions and rationality are like yin and yang---essential opposites, but never touching. In other words, all the "rational" arguements will usually NOT affect your emotions, and vice versa.
But what about those of us who _don't_ think that cuddles/hugs are the truest form of affection? I mean, to me, I hug (or, want to, at any rate...) those who I feel affection for...but, if I _know_ how someone expresses affection (note the difference between "know" and "_know_"), and they do whatever that is, then I can feel like they are being affectionate towards me.
IMHO, actions _do_ speak louder than words, but it's the _feeling_ of affection that's important: the actions are only the symptoms of the feeling.
Hm. IMHO, being touched is a good thing, but it's not _necessary_, given the proper supporting/loving environment. Love, on the other hand, is _absolutely_ necessary to a normal, functioning human being.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I and if by chance we find each other it's beautiful. -- Frederic S. Perls
I just finished going over this mornings new posts (as I do everyday) and it brings a tear to my eye to see how much everyone cares here. Since I have been to college (I am only a freshman) it seems like my world has been devoid of this kind of love (my SO and best buddies are 200 miles north). People genuinly care here. Even the flaming is done with respect. and when I am bummed I always seem to get a piece of mail or two from someone I have only read postings from giving me a hug and making everything alright. (is this maple season? there seems to be a lot of sap around here) you guys are the best
Shared pain is diminshed,
Shared joy, increased.
Thus do we refute entropy.
1. Unconditional Love. To REQUIRE reciprocation of one's love is NOT unconditional. I swore to myself not to place conditions of loving her.
Whenever I am feeling down and blue I think of the words of Rainer Maria Rilke. He wrote these things to a young friend of his and they are published in the book "Letters to a Young Poet" It goes something like this (please forgive the inaccuracies, I'm doing this from my (sometimes faulty) memory):
How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the bginnings of all peoples. The myths about dragons that at the last minute turn into princesses.. Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants only help from us. If a sadness rises up before you, larger than anything you have ever seen, or a restiveness, like light and cloud-shadow passes over your hands and over all you do, you should remember that Life has not frogotten you. It holds you in its hand. It will not let you fall.
[And neither will we. *HUG*]
From _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ by Victor Hugo:
'Do you know what friendship is?' he asked.
'Yes,' she replied. 'It's being brother and sister, two souls which touch without mingling, like two fingers of a hand.'
Rubber Ducky, you're the one.
You make bathtime lots of fun!
Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you.
Doo Doo de Doo.
Rubber Ducky, Joy of joys.
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you.
Oh, every day when I
Make my way to the tubby.
I find a
Little fella whose
cute and yellow and chubby,
Rub a dub dubby.
Rubber ducky you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun.
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you... Doo doo de doo.
Rubber ducky joy of joys
When I squeeze you you make noise!
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of...
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of...
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!!!!
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low and the debts are high
and you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit--
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be nearer when it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things go wrong that you musn't quit."
"It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena;
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotions,
and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows
in the end the triumph of high achievement;
and who, and the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring."
There's an Indigo Girls song that's fairly appropriate, so I'll quote:
"guess I wasn't the best one to ask
me myself with my face pressed up
against love's glass
to see the shiny toy i've been hoping for
the one I never can afford
the wide world spins and spits turmoil
and the nations toil for peace
but the paws of fear upon your chest
only love can soothe that beast
and my words are paper tigers
no match for the predator of pain inside her
I say love will come to you
hoping just because I spoke the words that they're true
as if i've offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there's now one there will be two. . .
I wish you insight to battle love's blindness
strength from the milk of human kindness
a safe place for all the pieces that scattered
learn to pretend there's more than love that matters"
I suppose it's something of a credo. Love matters most in my life -- it manifests itself in different masks, but its omnipresent nature never changes.
Ni/ dhe/anfaidh se/ seo an gno/.
Ta/im ag imeacht mar a bheadh de/ago/ir o/g,
A aigne, a ghoile tri/ na che/ile ag an che/ad pho/g.
Is i/ mo sci/th, mo shuaimhneas, mo shi/th,
Ach is i/ ata/ uaim, is ni/ peann a theastai/onn o/ mo mhe/ara,
Na/ eochracha me/archla/ir o/ bharra na me/ar, na/ sca/ilea/n o/ mo shu/il,
Ach a cneas faoi mo la/imh, an aghaidh sin I m'aice,
Agus eas na gruaige ag titim ar mo bhrollach nocht.
This simply will not do at all.
I'm going around like a young teenager.
His mind, his stomach upset by the first kiss.
She is my rest, my quietude, my peace.
But it's _her_ I want, not a pen in my hand.
Not a keyboard at my fingertips, nor a screen before my eyes.
Only her skin under my hand, that face beside me.
Her hair a waterfall, falling on my bare chest!
The Sevenfold Rule Of Cuddle
For every hug or cuddle given sincerely by one who follows the True Path of Cuddle, that one shall have hugs and cuddles returned sevenfold.
No ... fraid they is not as good as Tigger hugs :. (Tal should become professional in the art of Tigger hugs - just so long as they remain free)
FTFs (Friendship Type Feelings) are something that I really really really love ...
These are the feelings that you get when you are around some of your good friends and everything seems to be going great. A feeling of a common bond of love and joy where nothing else really matters ... sigh.
Me loves FTF's ... me also loves Spoddles, cuddles, hugs, snuggles, massages, Tigger hugs, nudges, holds, smiles, grins and coffee (coffee is the optional extra)
Some people measure thier lives in pulse rates and sit ups.
ar better to measure yours in licks of ice cream well-told jokes, mad dashes to be first in the water, belly laughs.
And, when you die, it won't be an erratic shift in your heartrate, it will be an overdose of mirth, fun poisoning, death by laughter.
-- Laura Ginshy [firstname.lastname@example.org]
[Apologies to good ol' Bill Shakespeare]
Is that a cuddle I see before me?
Out, out damn wuggle! Out I say!
To snugga to not to snugga, that is the question.
There are more hugs in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Cuddle, cuddle, wherefore art thou snuggly?
Deny thy anger and refuse thy hugglessness
Or if thou wilt not
I'll be but snuggly
And no longer be a spod!
But soft! What snuggles through yonder window breaks?
It is the cuddle, and Juilet is the snuggle!
Ah, that I were a glove cuddling that hand,
That I might snuggle that cheek!
Et tu cuddle?
-- Kimberly Chapman, and Robert Beyer in an email exchange ...
The postings appear almost as they were posted. Some changes were brought about by converting to HTML. I have not grammar or spell-checked anything, as some people have a particular style of writing, and that adds to the personality and charm of the post.
A lot of credit goes to Mike Wallis for collecting and packaging most of the quotes for this section.
Compiled by Robert P. "Pooky" Beyer and Mike Wallis
If there's a problem with these pages, please don't hesitate to tell me about it!
Please see the copyright notice.
Last modified: November 05, 1998 by Locksley